BRIAN DAWKINS FACTS
The meaning of life is not 42. It's 20.
Drake started from the bottom, now he's here. Brian Dawkins has ALWAYS been here.
It is considered an accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Brian Dawkins can go up Niagara Falls on a skateboard.
Brian Dawkins has been known to make interceptions in Dallas while playing in Philadelphia.
The primary export of Brian Dawkins is pain.
Brian Dawkins is the hero we need AND the hero we deserve!
Brian Dawkins CAN believe it's not butter.
Scientists have determined that the Big Bang was roughly equal to one-half of a BrDkh (a Brian Dawkins hit).
Brian Dawkins has counted to infinity. Ten times.
A rattlesnake once bit Brian Dawkins in the leg. After 12 hours of agony, the rattlesnake died.
Brian Dawkins is the only man to have defeated a concrete structure in a game of paper football.
Nobody will ever hear about Brian Dawkins having a heart attack. His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
The quickest way to a man's stomach is with Brian Dawkins' shoulder.
When Brian Dawkins jumps into a pool, he doesn't get wet. Water gets Brian Dawkins'd.
Brian Dawkins knows the sound of one hand clapping.
Brian Dawkins doesn't wear a watch. HE decides what time it is.
After Brian Dawkins' big hit in the 2004 NFC Championship Game, Alge Crumpler's name was legally changed to Alge Crumpled.
Brian Dawkins can slam a revolving door.
Bigfoot claims to have once seen Brian Dawkins.
There is no theory of evolution, only a list of creatures Brian Dawkins allows to live.
Legend has it that if you stand on the tip of your toes in front of a mirror and say "Brian Dawkins" three times, he will emerge from the mirror and tackle you. It's unknown whether this legend is true, because nobody who tried this has ever survived.
Brian Dawkins can build objects that are immune to gravity.
Brian Dawkins CAN go home again.
When the 44-6 game was aired in France, the French military surrendered to Brian Dawkins, just in case.
Brian Dawkins can divide by zero.
Brian Dawkins can touch his elbow with his tongue.
An old dictionary from the year 734 B.C. was recently discovered by archaeologists. The entry for "casualty" was defined as "one who has encountered Brian Dawkins."
Brian Dawkins can take photos of invisible objects.
Brian Dawkins is T.N.T., he's dynamite. T.N.T. and he'll win the fight. T.N.T he's the power load. T.N.T. watch him explode...
Brian Dawkins once got a passing TD, a receiving TD, an interception return TD, and a fumble recovery for TD on the same play!
Buddhist monks frequently practice silent meditation. It is believed that this practice began millennia ago, after two monks witnessed a loudmouthed man insult Brian Dawkins. Dawkins tackled the man so hard that his vocal cords were crushed. Hence, the birth of silent meditation.
Randall Cunningham famously made a 91-yard punt. Brian Dawkins once made a 307-yard punt. It hit Mark Sanchez in the head, causing him to fumble.
M.C. Hammer found out that Brian Dawkins CAN touch this.
Death once had a near-Brian-Dawkins experience.
Brian Dawkins CAN drive 55.
When Brian Dawkins cuts onions, the onions cry.
When the boogeyman goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Brian Dawkins.